Well.. liburan gw dihabiskan dengan bermalas malasan dan santai.. main makan nonton tidur.. hmm.. lama2 bosen jg.. mungkin gw harus sering2 ke kampus dan memulai skripsi gw.. biar melakukan sesuatu yg berguna gitu.. hahaha.. ga cuma nonton koleksi film downloadan, main capsa, atau main dotA.. hmm.. tapi yg namanya liburan..
Skripsi.. hmm.. gw baru tau klo topik skripsi yg gw kerjakan saat ini sama dan mirip dengan riset yang sedang dilakukan oleh alumni gw.. dan ternyata ada temen gw jg (selaen gw) yg topiknya mirip dengan riset.. mengapa hal tersebut bisa terjadi? hmm.. don't know.. tapi kekna gara2 kurangnya komunikasi antar dosen.. si bapak dan si ibu dosen.. ea ea ea.. alumni yang riset machine translation tersebut ternyata riset ampe bulan mei.. hmm.. ada yg bisa gw summon (baca: bantu gw) rupanya.. hahahaha.. semoga lancar dan kelar dengan mulus.. hmm.. mengenai kuliah yang akan diambil semester depan.. gw masi ga tau.. apakah gw hanya akan mengambil skripsi saja? atau dibarengin dengan kul luar? atau cari kerjaaan dan proyek laen..? let it flow aja lah.. mengikuti arus sekitar... hahahaha.. Yang pasti gw harus sering2 latian toefl dan ngoding.. uda mao lulus ini..!! harus naekin skill dan kemampuan biar bisa keren dan tahan banting.. wkwkwkwk..
=sekian dulu=
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
6.58 is out
###########
## Highlight ##
###########
* Remade Storm Spirit (see details below)
* Remade Dirge (see details below)
* Rewrote many different parts of the core game code to improve the usual performance drop that happens later in the game
* Added a new experimental command -switch to switch player slots with other players or leavers (requires player agreement, see details below)
#########
## Items ##
#########
* Blademail: Remade (see details below)
* Cranium Basher: Remade (see details below)
* Heart: Changed the regen mechanism, it now gives 1% non-stacking passive HP regen
* Javelin: Cost increased from 1400 to 1500 gold and damage from 16 to 21
* Demon Edge: Cost reduced from 2600 to 2400 gold
* Buriza: Recipe cost increased from 1000 to 1200 gold
* Monkey King Bar: Improved damage from 75 to 80 and chance from 30->35%
* Rapier: Now requires Demon Edge and Sacred Relic only and provides 200 damage instead of 250
* Eul's Scepter of Divinity: Recipe cost reduced from 800 to 600 gold
* Mask of Madness: Amplified damage is now applied at the end instead of within the duration
* Mask of Madness: Cooldown reduction from 30 to 25 seconds
* Diffusal Blade: Lowered the Agility bonus from 25 to 22
* Diffusal Blade: The purge now lasts the same on non-hero units like Spirit Bear as it does on heroes (15->4 seconds)
* Sentry Wards: True sight range increased by 100
* Illusion Rune: Now creates 2 images instead of 1, images deal a little less damage
##########
## Heroes ##
##########
* Storm Spirit: Remade (see details below)
* Dirge: Remade (see details below)
* Venomancer: Reworked Shadow Strike (see details below)
* Vengeful Spirit: Reworked Terror (see details below)
* Bane: Changed how Fiend's Grip works a little (see details below)
* Silencer: Curse of the Silent is now an AOE effect
* Necrolyte: Now has Heartstopper instead of Diffusion Aura
* Windrunner: Removed attack count limit on Focus Fire
* Rooftrellen: Living Armor is now castable on structures
* Bone Fletcher: Death Pact can now be used on any non-hero unit, not just allied units.
* Spirit Breaker: Charge of Darkness' buff indicator on the enemy is now visible to the enemy only when you are 2500 units or closer
* Spirit Breaker: Has magic immunity when he reaches maximum speed in Charge of Darkness
* Spirit Breaker: Empowering Haste bonus damage is now implemented as +damage visible on your interface
* Furion: Sprout can now be directly cast on yourself
* Morphling: Morph now gives him a passive +2/4/6/8 Agility and Strength bonus when leveling it up
* Pudge: Flesh Heap bonus strength gained from heroes is improved from 0.3/0.6/0.9/1.2 to 0.9/1.2/1.5/1.8
* Axe: Counter Helix cooldown now scales from 0.6 seconds to 0.7/0.65/0.60/0.55 (245761)
* Lucifer: Lvl? Death bonus damage is now reduced by magic resistance only rather than both magic resistance and armor
* Lucifer: Reduced Doom's cooldown by 20 seconds
* Lucifer: Devour' cast range increased a little from 150 to 300
* Bloodseeker: Improved base strength from 18 to 23
* Bloodseeker: Reduced Rupture's cooldown from 100 to 70 seconds
* Sven: Improved God's Strength's cooldown from 120 to 80 seconds
* Enchantress: Improved base damage by 10
* Drow Ranger: Improved Marksmanship by 3 Agility each level
* Viper: Viper Strike's cooldown reduced from 80 to 80/50/30 seconds
* Rhasta: Increased cast range on Mass Serpent Ward
* Templar Assassin: Improved turn rate
* Huskar: Life Break now properly slows magic immune units
* Enigma: Reduced Eidolons' bounty
* Enigma: Reduced manacost on Midnight Pulse from 135/150/165/180 to 95/110/125/140
* Lone Druid: Improved Spirit Bear's Entangle from 16 to 20% and cooldown from 6 to 5 seconds
* Ursa: Enrage bonus damage is now implemented as +damage visible on your interface
* Pugna: Reduced Scepter upgraded Life Drain cooldown dramatically
* Venomancer: Improved Plague Ward cast range and vision radius
* venomancer: Poison Sting damage type is now lethal
* Bane: Fiend's Grip now wakes a unit up from Nightmare
* Bane: Removed the life degen and enemy suicide mechanism from Enfeeble
* Witch Doctor: Voodoo Restoration no longer triggers Essence Aura
* Stealth Assassin: Removed ministun and tree destruction on smokescreen
* Stealth Assassin: Backstab damage type is now Physical
* Proudmoore: Reduced Captain CoCo's Rum movement bonus (30%->10%)
* Proudmoore: Ghost Ship cooldown increased from 100/80/60 to a constant 100
* Spectre: Haunt now ends whenever you use Reality
* Keeper of the Light: Rescaled Mana Leak cast range (1200->550/700/850/1000)
* Naix: Increased Open Wounds manacost from 70/80/90/100 to a constant 110 mana
* Visage: Rebalanced Raise Revenants (5/6/7 Max to 4/5/6 Max, Sight radius reduced by 50%, 29/39/49 damage to 40/46/52)
* Meepo: Earthbind no longer works on magic immune units
* Meepo: Rebalanced Poof (40/80/120/160 -> 60/80/100/120)
##################
## Modes & Commands ##
##################
* Changed -vr (-VoteRandom) to make your hero pools include 1 of each Intelligence/Agility/Strength/Melee/Range
* Added a new mode -mo(-MeleeOnly)
* Added a new mode -ro(-RangeOnly)
* Changed -mr(-moderandom) it now picks between RD/SD/VR/ARAI
* Added a new command -mines to count the mines placed (250362)
* Added a new global command -mc to show multicast rate of any Ogre Magi on the map (194526)
* Adjusted -ha (hookaccuracy) to count only enemy hooks
#####################
## Gameplay & Performance ##
#####################
* Rewrote camera system so it no longer moves the camera when you respawn if you are in the middle of controlling another unit
* Rewrote many different parts of the core game code to improve the usual performance drop that happens later in the game
* Dramatically improved performance during Epicenter
* Disabled some item manipulation code that is specific to warcraft 1.20e from running on 1.21 and above (this is mechanism that affected droppability of items as soon as you used them until you issue a new command)
* Hero selection is now automatically restored when you revive from Aegis
* Dramatically improved performance during Echoslam
* Rewrote Macropyre for some improved performance
* Rewrote Morphling's Waveform. It no longer causes you to lose control
* Minor Scorched Earth effect optimization
* Rewrote Shadow Word, fixing some minor performance issues and fixing the buff icon to be more responsive to the current state of the effect
* Rupture buff icon timing now more accurately represents the status
#############
## Replay Data ##
#############
* Added lots of new replay data features for game parsers (see details below)
* Endgame replay data actions now automatically done a few seconds after 3 players leave
* Fixed some bugs with replay data when host leaves the game
###############
## Cosmetic & Misc ##
###############
* Added a new visual effect for Chronosphere (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added a new visual effect for Sentinel Fortify and Scourge Fortify (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Couriers now spawn 175 units infront of the hero rather than ontop of the hero
* Glyph no longer refreshes in -wtf mode
* Randomized the second -test warning message time to prevent some abuses
* Techies plays a special fun kill sound when he kills someone with Remote Mines and when he does suicide command near the destination point
* Added a new icon for Venomancer's Shadow Strike (236027)
* Added a new Alchemist win animation (234249)
* Added a new projectile for Lion's attack (Infrisios)
* Added a sound to Tidehunter's attack
* Added compressed Invoker Skin (241826)
* Added a visual effect for Devour
* Added a new visual effect for Lucent Beam/Eclipse (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added a new visual effect for Test of Faith when cast on allies (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added a visual effect for the LVL? Death bonus damage
* Swapped Penitence and Purification icons (255729)
* Added an optimized version of the effect used by Macropyre (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added color coding to the different modes of Ring of Basilius
* Changed LVL? Death icon (150665)
* Changed Panda's Thunder Clap icon (160613)
* Dark Ritual and Death Pact now show the amount they restored with text overhead (258956)
* Techies' name now includes the third goblin (77704)
* Improved Roshan's Turn Rate
* Changed Faerie Dragon's hotkey because of a recent conflict
* Changed Undying's hero hotkey to fix an issue with accidentally leveling up attribute bonus level 1
########
## Bugs ##
########
* Fixed some unintended sideeffects to sharing control in SD
* Fixed a bug with mode entering and -cm
* Fixed a bug that allowed you to deny an ally being healed by Shadow Word
* Fixed a bug with avalanche hitting a Tossed allied hero
* Fixed a minor bug with dummy units interaction with items
* Fixed a minor coding bug with Toss
* Fixed a very minor bug with Backstab angle calculation
* Put a practical limit to prevent mass -roll spams
* Temporarily disabled the click disassemble on Perseverance because of some problems. You can still use Courier or Circle of Power to disassemble it
* Fixed a minor minimap glitch at taverns area for Scourge Players
* Fixed a visual bug when swapping heroes with Kunkka
* Fixed an area where you could get stuck while using TP Scroll
* Fixed incorrect Gem of Truesight AOE in recent versions
* Fixed -omsc
* Fixed Phase Boots dispelling Curse of the Silent
* Fixed Proudmoore's name/class
* Fixed Razor's Tavern Hotkey
* Fixed Shadow Wave not bouncing the correct number of times
* Fixed some bugs possible when using couriers
* Fixed some minor bugs that could cause units to retain control after the game was over
* Fixed some minor bugs with Illuminate caster units
* Fixed some small inconsistencies between Towers
* Fixed the slow duration on Torrent lasting a little longer than intended
* Fixed Wall of Replica not working on Magic Immune units
* Fixed a few other minor bugs
New French and German translations are nearing completion. Other languages are in the works as well.
#############
## Extra Details ##
#############
Old Blade Mail
==============
Blades of Attack (500)
Chainmail (550)
Recipe (500)
Total: 1550
+15 Damage
+5 Armor
Passive: 20% melee attack damage (calculated before reductions) returned as magical damage
New Blade Mail
===============
Broadsword (1200)
Chainmail (550)
Robe of the Magi (450)
Total: 2200
+22 Damage
+5 Armor
+10 Intelligence
Active: 100% all damage (calculated after reductions) returned as magical damage
Duration: 4 seconds
Cooldown: 15
Manacost 25
Has visual effect to show when it is active
Extra Note: Since people regularly misunderstand how this works, the damage returned is reduced twice, first when you get the damage and then again when you deal it back. For example, a 300 damage nuke gets reduced by 25% because of hero resistance, then it gets dealt back as magical damage, being reduced by another 25% (or whatever magical resistance the enemy has).
Old Basher:
===========
Mithril Hammer (1610)
Gauntlets of Strength (150)
Recipe (1460)
Total: 3220
+30 Damage
+3 Strength
15% Bash (10% ranged) for 1.1 seconds
Cooldown: 0
Stacks Diminishingly
New Basher:
===========
Javelin (1500)
Gauntlets of Strength (150)
Recipe (1450)
Total: 3100
+30 Damage
+3 Strength
25% Bash (10% ranged) for 1.1 seconds
Cooldown: 2 seconds
Does not stack with itself or other bash passives
Old Fiend's Grip
=================
100/175/250 Manacost
40/60/80 Mana and HP cost per second
Lasts 5 seconds
120 Cooldown
100/155/215 DPS
New Fiend's Grip
=================
200/300/400 Manacost
No HP or MP cost per second
Lasts 5 seconds
120 Cooldown
100/155/215 DPS
Transfers 5% of enemies max MP per second to you
Old Shadow Strike:
==================
Decay Damage 10/20/40/50
Initial Damage: 50/70/70/100
Movement Modifier: 50%
Decay Power: 3
Interval: 3
Duration 15
Cast Range: 400
Cooldown: 22
Manacost 90/105/120/135
Venomous Gale:
===============
Releases a Venomous Gale which poisons enemy units it comes in contact with. Units that are hit by it get a slow/dps like his previous shadow strike
AoE: 125
Cast Range/Distance: 800
Cooldown: 22
Manacost 90/105/120/135
Old Terror:
===========
Reduces damage and armor of units in an area around you.
AoE: 700
Cooldown: 15
Duration: 20
Damage Reduction: 5/10/15/20%
Armor Reduction: 2/3/4/5
Wave of Terror:
=============
Releases a wave of terror moving forward that reduces enemy units armor and damage. You have vision over the wave as it moves forward.
Wave Distance: 1400
AoE: 350
Cooldown: 15
Duration: 20
Damage Reduction: 5/10/15/20%
Armor Reduction: 2/3/4/5
Dirge:
=======
Attack Range: 100
Strength: 25 + 2.1
Agility: 10 + 0.8
Intelligence: 27 + 2.8
Movement Speed 310
Cast Point 0.45
Hero Class: Strength
Decay
-------
Dirge saps away the strength of enemy heroes and retains it for a period of time.
Steals 4 Strength from each hero for 21/24/27/30 seconds
Deals 30/60/90/120 Magical Damage
Manacost 70/90/110/130
Cooldown 11/9/7/5
Cast Range 625
AOE: 300
Note: Often missed, note the cooldown
Soul Rip
---------
Redirects the flow of living energy through a target friend or foe, damaging them or healing them depending on how many units are near it. 25 for each unit.
This does not hurt zombies below since they are magic immune.
This can target your tombstone.
Unit Cap: 5/10/15/20
Cooldown: 25/20/15/10
Manacost: 50/75/100/125
Tombstone
----------
Unholy powers summon a cursed tombstone. Zombies will frequently spawn near each enemy unit and attack them. Zombies have a passive that additively slow their target by 7%. Zombies cannot be controlled.
Spawn area: 400/600/800/1000
Frequency: 3
Slow Duration: 2.5 seconds
Zombie Stats:
HP: 30
Armor: 0
Armor Type: Unarmored
Magic Resistance: Immune
Damage: 37-45
Attack Type: Pierce
Attack Speed: 1.6
Movement Speed: 375
Bounty: 5-7
Deathlust: If the target the zombie is attacking is below 100/200/300/400 hit points, it gains 50% movement and attack speed bonus.
Tombstone Duration: 15/20/25/30
Tombstone HP: 150/300/450/600
Tombstone Armor: 10
Tombstone Armor Type: Medium
Tombstone Other Stats: Magic Immune, No regen.
Tombstone Bounty: 70/90/110/130
Cooldown: 60
Cast Range: 250
Manacost: 120/130/140/150
Flesh Golem
------------
Dirge's hatred for all living beings allows him to transform into a monster. While he's transformed he carries a plague that affects nearby enemy units. Strength of the plague depends on how close the enemy is. Amplifies damage enemy units receive and reduces their movement speed (7%). When a plagued unit dies, its essence is transferred back to the Undying.
Cooldown: 90
Duration: 30
Manacost: 100
Plague Aura Damage Amplification: (old plague was 20/25/30%)
at max distance (700): 5/10/15%
at closest distance (150): 20/25/30%
In between is just an even spread between the numbers
Units that die under plague release their energy to you. Creeps heal you for 3% and Heroes for 12% of your Max HP.
Storm Spirit:
==============
Attack Range: 500
Strength: 17 + 1.5
Agility: 22 + 1.8
Intelligence: 23 + 2.6
Movement Speed 295
Static Remnant
-----------------
Raijin creates a remnant of himself containing his essence. The Static Remnant will release its stored energy whenever an enemy units comes near it. Lasts up to 12 seconds.
Damage: 140/180/220/260
Trigger AOE: 210
Damage AOE: 260
Cooldown: 4
Manacost: 70/80/90/100
Takes 1 second to create after cast. This is not channeling, just time delayed.
Electric Vortex
-----------------
Storm focuses his energy to rip open a vortex drawing an enemy to it. This process slows the Storm Spirit down for a brief period.
Pulls 100/150/200/250 units over 1/1.5/2/2.5 seconds.
Your movement is reduced by 50% for 3 seconds.
Cast Range: 300
Manacost: 100
Cooldown: 20
Overload
---------
Storm Spirit becomes overloaded with electrical energy whenever he casts a spell. The charge is released on his next attack as an electrical burst, dealing damage and slowing nearby units.
Slow: 50% as 80% ms Lasts 0.6 seconds (Same stats as old overload)
Bonus damage: 30/45/60/75
AOE: 275
Ball Lightning
---------------
Storm Spirit becomes enveloped with energy, losing his physical form, and travels until he depletes his mana or chooses to stop. While in this form, he deals damage to nearby units based on how far his electrical form has traversed. Damage, speed and area of effect improves per level.
Stops traveling whenever you run out of mana. Deals damage in a small area around you based on distance traveled.
Damage: 8/12/16 per 100 units traveled
Manacost: (15 + 7% of total manabase) + mana based on distance traveled (10+1% per 100 units)
Cast Range: Global
Cooldown: 0
Travel speed and damage AoE improves per level.
You can cast spells like Static Remnant during your roll if you are quick enough.
Specific interactions with spells/projectiles follow the same rules as Waveform does.
Replay Data Specs:
==================
- "Ban",playerid,heroid: is sent for each time a hero is banned in cm/xl
- "id" packets are sent after the mode phase (supports -sp)
- "GameStart",1: synced to time 0 ingame (creep spawn time)
- "9" packets are now sent each time a hero is picked
Switch:
========
If someone wants to switch player slots with an enemy player or leaver, he
types -switch. If he types -switch without the slot it lists the possible numbers that can be used. After a player uses this command, no one else can attempt a switch for 60 seconds, to prevent confusion. All players are then presented with a command to enter to accept, something like "-switch accept" or "-ok". If 100% of all player agree , then you take the slot of the player you swapped with and both heroes swap positions. Players have until the 60 seconds are over to accept the offer.
I hope everyone enjoys this update. Please give me feedback. Have Fun!
-- IceFrog
## Highlight ##
###########
* Remade Storm Spirit (see details below)
* Remade Dirge (see details below)
* Rewrote many different parts of the core game code to improve the usual performance drop that happens later in the game
* Added a new experimental command -switch to switch player slots with other players or leavers (requires player agreement, see details below)
#########
## Items ##
#########
* Blademail: Remade (see details below)
* Cranium Basher: Remade (see details below)
* Heart: Changed the regen mechanism, it now gives 1% non-stacking passive HP regen
* Javelin: Cost increased from 1400 to 1500 gold and damage from 16 to 21
* Demon Edge: Cost reduced from 2600 to 2400 gold
* Buriza: Recipe cost increased from 1000 to 1200 gold
* Monkey King Bar: Improved damage from 75 to 80 and chance from 30->35%
* Rapier: Now requires Demon Edge and Sacred Relic only and provides 200 damage instead of 250
* Eul's Scepter of Divinity: Recipe cost reduced from 800 to 600 gold
* Mask of Madness: Amplified damage is now applied at the end instead of within the duration
* Mask of Madness: Cooldown reduction from 30 to 25 seconds
* Diffusal Blade: Lowered the Agility bonus from 25 to 22
* Diffusal Blade: The purge now lasts the same on non-hero units like Spirit Bear as it does on heroes (15->4 seconds)
* Sentry Wards: True sight range increased by 100
* Illusion Rune: Now creates 2 images instead of 1, images deal a little less damage
##########
## Heroes ##
##########
* Storm Spirit: Remade (see details below)
* Dirge: Remade (see details below)
* Venomancer: Reworked Shadow Strike (see details below)
* Vengeful Spirit: Reworked Terror (see details below)
* Bane: Changed how Fiend's Grip works a little (see details below)
* Silencer: Curse of the Silent is now an AOE effect
* Necrolyte: Now has Heartstopper instead of Diffusion Aura
* Windrunner: Removed attack count limit on Focus Fire
* Rooftrellen: Living Armor is now castable on structures
* Bone Fletcher: Death Pact can now be used on any non-hero unit, not just allied units.
* Spirit Breaker: Charge of Darkness' buff indicator on the enemy is now visible to the enemy only when you are 2500 units or closer
* Spirit Breaker: Has magic immunity when he reaches maximum speed in Charge of Darkness
* Spirit Breaker: Empowering Haste bonus damage is now implemented as +damage visible on your interface
* Furion: Sprout can now be directly cast on yourself
* Morphling: Morph now gives him a passive +2/4/6/8 Agility and Strength bonus when leveling it up
* Pudge: Flesh Heap bonus strength gained from heroes is improved from 0.3/0.6/0.9/1.2 to 0.9/1.2/1.5/1.8
* Axe: Counter Helix cooldown now scales from 0.6 seconds to 0.7/0.65/0.60/0.55 (245761)
* Lucifer: Lvl? Death bonus damage is now reduced by magic resistance only rather than both magic resistance and armor
* Lucifer: Reduced Doom's cooldown by 20 seconds
* Lucifer: Devour' cast range increased a little from 150 to 300
* Bloodseeker: Improved base strength from 18 to 23
* Bloodseeker: Reduced Rupture's cooldown from 100 to 70 seconds
* Sven: Improved God's Strength's cooldown from 120 to 80 seconds
* Enchantress: Improved base damage by 10
* Drow Ranger: Improved Marksmanship by 3 Agility each level
* Viper: Viper Strike's cooldown reduced from 80 to 80/50/30 seconds
* Rhasta: Increased cast range on Mass Serpent Ward
* Templar Assassin: Improved turn rate
* Huskar: Life Break now properly slows magic immune units
* Enigma: Reduced Eidolons' bounty
* Enigma: Reduced manacost on Midnight Pulse from 135/150/165/180 to 95/110/125/140
* Lone Druid: Improved Spirit Bear's Entangle from 16 to 20% and cooldown from 6 to 5 seconds
* Ursa: Enrage bonus damage is now implemented as +damage visible on your interface
* Pugna: Reduced Scepter upgraded Life Drain cooldown dramatically
* Venomancer: Improved Plague Ward cast range and vision radius
* venomancer: Poison Sting damage type is now lethal
* Bane: Fiend's Grip now wakes a unit up from Nightmare
* Bane: Removed the life degen and enemy suicide mechanism from Enfeeble
* Witch Doctor: Voodoo Restoration no longer triggers Essence Aura
* Stealth Assassin: Removed ministun and tree destruction on smokescreen
* Stealth Assassin: Backstab damage type is now Physical
* Proudmoore: Reduced Captain CoCo's Rum movement bonus (30%->10%)
* Proudmoore: Ghost Ship cooldown increased from 100/80/60 to a constant 100
* Spectre: Haunt now ends whenever you use Reality
* Keeper of the Light: Rescaled Mana Leak cast range (1200->550/700/850/1000)
* Naix: Increased Open Wounds manacost from 70/80/90/100 to a constant 110 mana
* Visage: Rebalanced Raise Revenants (5/6/7 Max to 4/5/6 Max, Sight radius reduced by 50%, 29/39/49 damage to 40/46/52)
* Meepo: Earthbind no longer works on magic immune units
* Meepo: Rebalanced Poof (40/80/120/160 -> 60/80/100/120)
##################
## Modes & Commands ##
##################
* Changed -vr (-VoteRandom) to make your hero pools include 1 of each Intelligence/Agility/Strength/Melee/Range
* Added a new mode -mo(-MeleeOnly)
* Added a new mode -ro(-RangeOnly)
* Changed -mr(-moderandom) it now picks between RD/SD/VR/ARAI
* Added a new command -mines to count the mines placed (250362)
* Added a new global command -mc to show multicast rate of any Ogre Magi on the map (194526)
* Adjusted -ha (hookaccuracy) to count only enemy hooks
#####################
## Gameplay & Performance ##
#####################
* Rewrote camera system so it no longer moves the camera when you respawn if you are in the middle of controlling another unit
* Rewrote many different parts of the core game code to improve the usual performance drop that happens later in the game
* Dramatically improved performance during Epicenter
* Disabled some item manipulation code that is specific to warcraft 1.20e from running on 1.21 and above (this is mechanism that affected droppability of items as soon as you used them until you issue a new command)
* Hero selection is now automatically restored when you revive from Aegis
* Dramatically improved performance during Echoslam
* Rewrote Macropyre for some improved performance
* Rewrote Morphling's Waveform. It no longer causes you to lose control
* Minor Scorched Earth effect optimization
* Rewrote Shadow Word, fixing some minor performance issues and fixing the buff icon to be more responsive to the current state of the effect
* Rupture buff icon timing now more accurately represents the status
#############
## Replay Data ##
#############
* Added lots of new replay data features for game parsers (see details below)
* Endgame replay data actions now automatically done a few seconds after 3 players leave
* Fixed some bugs with replay data when host leaves the game
###############
## Cosmetic & Misc ##
###############
* Added a new visual effect for Chronosphere (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added a new visual effect for Sentinel Fortify and Scourge Fortify (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Couriers now spawn 175 units infront of the hero rather than ontop of the hero
* Glyph no longer refreshes in -wtf mode
* Randomized the second -test warning message time to prevent some abuses
* Techies plays a special fun kill sound when he kills someone with Remote Mines and when he does suicide command near the destination point
* Added a new icon for Venomancer's Shadow Strike (236027)
* Added a new Alchemist win animation (234249)
* Added a new projectile for Lion's attack (Infrisios)
* Added a sound to Tidehunter's attack
* Added compressed Invoker Skin (241826)
* Added a visual effect for Devour
* Added a new visual effect for Lucent Beam/Eclipse (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added a new visual effect for Test of Faith when cast on allies (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added a visual effect for the LVL? Death bonus damage
* Swapped Penitence and Purification icons (255729)
* Added an optimized version of the effect used by Macropyre (PGRU-Unexpected)
* Added color coding to the different modes of Ring of Basilius
* Changed LVL? Death icon (150665)
* Changed Panda's Thunder Clap icon (160613)
* Dark Ritual and Death Pact now show the amount they restored with text overhead (258956)
* Techies' name now includes the third goblin (77704)
* Improved Roshan's Turn Rate
* Changed Faerie Dragon's hotkey because of a recent conflict
* Changed Undying's hero hotkey to fix an issue with accidentally leveling up attribute bonus level 1
########
## Bugs ##
########
* Fixed some unintended sideeffects to sharing control in SD
* Fixed a bug with mode entering and -cm
* Fixed a bug that allowed you to deny an ally being healed by Shadow Word
* Fixed a bug with avalanche hitting a Tossed allied hero
* Fixed a minor bug with dummy units interaction with items
* Fixed a minor coding bug with Toss
* Fixed a very minor bug with Backstab angle calculation
* Put a practical limit to prevent mass -roll spams
* Temporarily disabled the click disassemble on Perseverance because of some problems. You can still use Courier or Circle of Power to disassemble it
* Fixed a minor minimap glitch at taverns area for Scourge Players
* Fixed a visual bug when swapping heroes with Kunkka
* Fixed an area where you could get stuck while using TP Scroll
* Fixed incorrect Gem of Truesight AOE in recent versions
* Fixed -omsc
* Fixed Phase Boots dispelling Curse of the Silent
* Fixed Proudmoore's name/class
* Fixed Razor's Tavern Hotkey
* Fixed Shadow Wave not bouncing the correct number of times
* Fixed some bugs possible when using couriers
* Fixed some minor bugs that could cause units to retain control after the game was over
* Fixed some minor bugs with Illuminate caster units
* Fixed some small inconsistencies between Towers
* Fixed the slow duration on Torrent lasting a little longer than intended
* Fixed Wall of Replica not working on Magic Immune units
* Fixed a few other minor bugs
New French and German translations are nearing completion. Other languages are in the works as well.
#############
## Extra Details ##
#############
Old Blade Mail
==============
Blades of Attack (500)
Chainmail (550)
Recipe (500)
Total: 1550
+15 Damage
+5 Armor
Passive: 20% melee attack damage (calculated before reductions) returned as magical damage
New Blade Mail
===============
Broadsword (1200)
Chainmail (550)
Robe of the Magi (450)
Total: 2200
+22 Damage
+5 Armor
+10 Intelligence
Active: 100% all damage (calculated after reductions) returned as magical damage
Duration: 4 seconds
Cooldown: 15
Manacost 25
Has visual effect to show when it is active
Extra Note: Since people regularly misunderstand how this works, the damage returned is reduced twice, first when you get the damage and then again when you deal it back. For example, a 300 damage nuke gets reduced by 25% because of hero resistance, then it gets dealt back as magical damage, being reduced by another 25% (or whatever magical resistance the enemy has).
Old Basher:
===========
Mithril Hammer (1610)
Gauntlets of Strength (150)
Recipe (1460)
Total: 3220
+30 Damage
+3 Strength
15% Bash (10% ranged) for 1.1 seconds
Cooldown: 0
Stacks Diminishingly
New Basher:
===========
Javelin (1500)
Gauntlets of Strength (150)
Recipe (1450)
Total: 3100
+30 Damage
+3 Strength
25% Bash (10% ranged) for 1.1 seconds
Cooldown: 2 seconds
Does not stack with itself or other bash passives
Old Fiend's Grip
=================
100/175/250 Manacost
40/60/80 Mana and HP cost per second
Lasts 5 seconds
120 Cooldown
100/155/215 DPS
New Fiend's Grip
=================
200/300/400 Manacost
No HP or MP cost per second
Lasts 5 seconds
120 Cooldown
100/155/215 DPS
Transfers 5% of enemies max MP per second to you
Old Shadow Strike:
==================
Decay Damage 10/20/40/50
Initial Damage: 50/70/70/100
Movement Modifier: 50%
Decay Power: 3
Interval: 3
Duration 15
Cast Range: 400
Cooldown: 22
Manacost 90/105/120/135
Venomous Gale:
===============
Releases a Venomous Gale which poisons enemy units it comes in contact with. Units that are hit by it get a slow/dps like his previous shadow strike
AoE: 125
Cast Range/Distance: 800
Cooldown: 22
Manacost 90/105/120/135
Old Terror:
===========
Reduces damage and armor of units in an area around you.
AoE: 700
Cooldown: 15
Duration: 20
Damage Reduction: 5/10/15/20%
Armor Reduction: 2/3/4/5
Wave of Terror:
=============
Releases a wave of terror moving forward that reduces enemy units armor and damage. You have vision over the wave as it moves forward.
Wave Distance: 1400
AoE: 350
Cooldown: 15
Duration: 20
Damage Reduction: 5/10/15/20%
Armor Reduction: 2/3/4/5
Dirge:
=======
Attack Range: 100
Strength: 25 + 2.1
Agility: 10 + 0.8
Intelligence: 27 + 2.8
Movement Speed 310
Cast Point 0.45
Hero Class: Strength
Decay
-------
Dirge saps away the strength of enemy heroes and retains it for a period of time.
Steals 4 Strength from each hero for 21/24/27/30 seconds
Deals 30/60/90/120 Magical Damage
Manacost 70/90/110/130
Cooldown 11/9/7/5
Cast Range 625
AOE: 300
Note: Often missed, note the cooldown
Soul Rip
---------
Redirects the flow of living energy through a target friend or foe, damaging them or healing them depending on how many units are near it. 25 for each unit.
This does not hurt zombies below since they are magic immune.
This can target your tombstone.
Unit Cap: 5/10/15/20
Cooldown: 25/20/15/10
Manacost: 50/75/100/125
Tombstone
----------
Unholy powers summon a cursed tombstone. Zombies will frequently spawn near each enemy unit and attack them. Zombies have a passive that additively slow their target by 7%. Zombies cannot be controlled.
Spawn area: 400/600/800/1000
Frequency: 3
Slow Duration: 2.5 seconds
Zombie Stats:
HP: 30
Armor: 0
Armor Type: Unarmored
Magic Resistance: Immune
Damage: 37-45
Attack Type: Pierce
Attack Speed: 1.6
Movement Speed: 375
Bounty: 5-7
Deathlust: If the target the zombie is attacking is below 100/200/300/400 hit points, it gains 50% movement and attack speed bonus.
Tombstone Duration: 15/20/25/30
Tombstone HP: 150/300/450/600
Tombstone Armor: 10
Tombstone Armor Type: Medium
Tombstone Other Stats: Magic Immune, No regen.
Tombstone Bounty: 70/90/110/130
Cooldown: 60
Cast Range: 250
Manacost: 120/130/140/150
Flesh Golem
------------
Dirge's hatred for all living beings allows him to transform into a monster. While he's transformed he carries a plague that affects nearby enemy units. Strength of the plague depends on how close the enemy is. Amplifies damage enemy units receive and reduces their movement speed (7%). When a plagued unit dies, its essence is transferred back to the Undying.
Cooldown: 90
Duration: 30
Manacost: 100
Plague Aura Damage Amplification: (old plague was 20/25/30%)
at max distance (700): 5/10/15%
at closest distance (150): 20/25/30%
In between is just an even spread between the numbers
Units that die under plague release their energy to you. Creeps heal you for 3% and Heroes for 12% of your Max HP.
Storm Spirit:
==============
Attack Range: 500
Strength: 17 + 1.5
Agility: 22 + 1.8
Intelligence: 23 + 2.6
Movement Speed 295
Static Remnant
-----------------
Raijin creates a remnant of himself containing his essence. The Static Remnant will release its stored energy whenever an enemy units comes near it. Lasts up to 12 seconds.
Damage: 140/180/220/260
Trigger AOE: 210
Damage AOE: 260
Cooldown: 4
Manacost: 70/80/90/100
Takes 1 second to create after cast. This is not channeling, just time delayed.
Electric Vortex
-----------------
Storm focuses his energy to rip open a vortex drawing an enemy to it. This process slows the Storm Spirit down for a brief period.
Pulls 100/150/200/250 units over 1/1.5/2/2.5 seconds.
Your movement is reduced by 50% for 3 seconds.
Cast Range: 300
Manacost: 100
Cooldown: 20
Overload
---------
Storm Spirit becomes overloaded with electrical energy whenever he casts a spell. The charge is released on his next attack as an electrical burst, dealing damage and slowing nearby units.
Slow: 50% as 80% ms Lasts 0.6 seconds (Same stats as old overload)
Bonus damage: 30/45/60/75
AOE: 275
Ball Lightning
---------------
Storm Spirit becomes enveloped with energy, losing his physical form, and travels until he depletes his mana or chooses to stop. While in this form, he deals damage to nearby units based on how far his electrical form has traversed. Damage, speed and area of effect improves per level.
Stops traveling whenever you run out of mana. Deals damage in a small area around you based on distance traveled.
Damage: 8/12/16 per 100 units traveled
Manacost: (15 + 7% of total manabase) + mana based on distance traveled (10+1% per 100 units)
Cast Range: Global
Cooldown: 0
Travel speed and damage AoE improves per level.
You can cast spells like Static Remnant during your roll if you are quick enough.
Specific interactions with spells/projectiles follow the same rules as Waveform does.
Replay Data Specs:
==================
- "Ban",playerid,heroid: is sent for each time a hero is banned in cm/xl
- "id" packets are sent after the mode phase (supports -sp)
- "GameStart",1: synced to time 0 ingame (creep spawn time)
- "9" packets are now sent each time a hero is picked
Switch:
========
If someone wants to switch player slots with an enemy player or leaver, he
types -switch
I hope everyone enjoys this update. Please give me feedback. Have Fun!
-- IceFrog
Friday, January 9, 2009
Damn Gradess...
hmm.. IPK = Indeks Prestasi Kumulatif.. Damn.. turun lagi... IPK gw semester ini paling jelek (klo diliat dari grafik ipk..) semester ini gw dapet 2 A, 1 A- , 1 B+, dan 1 B. (<-- yess... mo songong dikit..)
hmm.. padahal semester ini gw cuma ambil 15 sks.. BAH!! tapi kok bisa memecahkan rekor terjelek ya.. wew.. mungkin karena sibuk riset kampus dan karena beberapa hal lainnya.. padahal tadinya ngarep semester ini dapet straight A smua (wokwokwokwok)..
metpen gw ga dapet A lagi.. !@%!&@!@. kurang 0.5 point.. gara2 pembulatan..
well.. tapi gpp lah.. gw masih bersyukur.. terima kasih Tuhan.. Hmm.. skrg gw harus fokus buat semester depan dan mulai cari lowongan kerja ato beasiswa.. Semester depan gw cuma ada skripsi doang.. tadinya mo ambil 21 sks, lulus 3,5 tahun.. tapi ga jadi.. gara2 mo sante2 dulu, jdnya gw 4 tahun.. ea ea ea...
Mengenai skripsi.. hmmm... gw uda dapet topik dan pembimbing skripsi.. Tinggal dikerjain doang.. smoga lancar ga ada halangan... hmm... skripsi gw tentang machine translation.. ga terlalu ngerti sih.. apalagi ktna toolsna harus make linux.. wew... hahahah..
Dah ah. mo balik ke rumah..
~END~
hmm.. padahal semester ini gw cuma ambil 15 sks.. BAH!! tapi kok bisa memecahkan rekor terjelek ya.. wew.. mungkin karena sibuk riset kampus dan karena beberapa hal lainnya.. padahal tadinya ngarep semester ini dapet straight A smua (wokwokwokwok)..
metpen gw ga dapet A lagi.. !@%!&@!@. kurang 0.5 point.. gara2 pembulatan..
well.. tapi gpp lah.. gw masih bersyukur.. terima kasih Tuhan.. Hmm.. skrg gw harus fokus buat semester depan dan mulai cari lowongan kerja ato beasiswa.. Semester depan gw cuma ada skripsi doang.. tadinya mo ambil 21 sks, lulus 3,5 tahun.. tapi ga jadi.. gara2 mo sante2 dulu, jdnya gw 4 tahun.. ea ea ea...
Mengenai skripsi.. hmmm... gw uda dapet topik dan pembimbing skripsi.. Tinggal dikerjain doang.. smoga lancar ga ada halangan... hmm... skripsi gw tentang machine translation.. ga terlalu ngerti sih.. apalagi ktna toolsna harus make linux.. wew... hahahah..
Dah ah. mo balik ke rumah..
~END~
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
5 vs 5.. so?
Lima bidadari cantik berbaris dengan anggun
Menantikan datangnya sang Arjuna kembar lima yang sedang mencari cinta
Satu persatu mereka pun berpasangan dan bergandengan tangan
Melangkah menuju masa depan
Sesaat sebelum melangkah, masing-masing bidadari bertanya kepada Arjuna nya :
"Apa yang kamu cintai dari diriku , Sayang?"
Maka satu persatu sang Arjuna pun berbisik dengan lembut ditelinga bidadarinya
Arjuna satu pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Arjuna dua pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Arjuna tiga pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Arjuna empat pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Ketika tiba giliran Arjuna terakhir,
Dia terdiam
Dia terpaku tidak bisa menjawab
Dia hanya sanggup berucap lesu:
"Sebenarnya aku tidak tahu mengapa aku mencintai kamu"
"Sebenarnya aku juga tidak tahu apa yang aku cintai dari kamu"
Bidadari pun tercekat tiada ucap
Namun semua sudah terucap
Kelima pasang bidadari-arjuna mulai merajut kasih rumah tangga
Namun bidadari kelima memulai d hati yang pilu ketika dia menjumpai arjunanya tidak segentle arjuna-arjuna lain yang dimiliki sahabat-sabahatnya.
Ia menjadi iri
Ketika para bidadari ini sering berkumpul untuk bernostalgia masa lajang mereka
Namun dia mencoba menerima apa adanya
Waktu pun berlalu
Semua berubah
Anggota keluarga berubah
Kembali para bidadari ini reuni sambil bernostalgia
Bidadari satu :
"Ah suamiku sekarang brengsek!"
Bidadari kedua :
"Iya sama, dia suka memukul saya"
Bidadari ketiga :
"Suamiku sekarang jarang pulang ke rumah"
Bidadari keempat "
"Suamiku sekarang lebih asyik main game, saya dicuekin melulu"
Bidadari kelima terdiam
Dia hanya senyum
Dia tidak dapat berkata apa-apa....
Sesampainya dirumah, dia disambut dan dipeluk oleh suaminya dan anak-anaknya
"Papa, apakah papa masih sayang sama saya? " tanya bidadari 5.
Arjuna 5 langsung memeluk erat sambil berbisik lembut nan mesra
"I love you more than I can whisper..."
Sang Istri lega mendengarnya
Namun dia tetap terusik dengan pertanyaan masa lalunya
"Papi, kalau papi benar mencintai saya, buktikan bagian apa yang membuat papi jatuh cinta sama saya? " kejar sang Istri.
Arjuna 5 menarik nafas panjang.
"Saya tidak tahu , sayang."
"Dan saya tidak mau mencari tahu apa sebenarnya yang menarik dari dirimu"
"Biarkan itu semua tetap menjadi rahasia tersembunyi bagi saya"
"Supaya ketika apa yang saya cintai itu berubah, maka aku pun tidak tahu bahwa itu memang sudah berubah, dengan demikian aku tetap bisa mencintai kamu apa adanya"
Sang istri serasa di sambar petir
Dia baru menyadari hal ini selama ini
Ketika dirinya tambah tua
Ketika dirinya semakin mengembang
Ketika dirinya tidak semenarik dikala mudanya
Dia mendapati suaminya tetap mencintai dirinya
Menantikan datangnya sang Arjuna kembar lima yang sedang mencari cinta
Satu persatu mereka pun berpasangan dan bergandengan tangan
Melangkah menuju masa depan
Sesaat sebelum melangkah, masing-masing bidadari bertanya kepada Arjuna nya :
"Apa yang kamu cintai dari diriku , Sayang?"
Maka satu persatu sang Arjuna pun berbisik dengan lembut ditelinga bidadarinya
Arjuna satu pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Arjuna dua pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Arjuna tiga pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Arjuna empat pun berbisik :
"Aku suka : bla.. bla..."
Ketika tiba giliran Arjuna terakhir,
Dia terdiam
Dia terpaku tidak bisa menjawab
Dia hanya sanggup berucap lesu:
"Sebenarnya aku tidak tahu mengapa aku mencintai kamu"
"Sebenarnya aku juga tidak tahu apa yang aku cintai dari kamu"
Bidadari pun tercekat tiada ucap
Namun semua sudah terucap
Kelima pasang bidadari-arjuna mulai merajut kasih rumah tangga
Namun bidadari kelima memulai d hati yang pilu ketika dia menjumpai arjunanya tidak segentle arjuna-arjuna lain yang dimiliki sahabat-sabahatnya.
Ia menjadi iri
Ketika para bidadari ini sering berkumpul untuk bernostalgia masa lajang mereka
Namun dia mencoba menerima apa adanya
Waktu pun berlalu
Semua berubah
Anggota keluarga berubah
Kembali para bidadari ini reuni sambil bernostalgia
Bidadari satu :
"Ah suamiku sekarang brengsek!"
Bidadari kedua :
"Iya sama, dia suka memukul saya"
Bidadari ketiga :
"Suamiku sekarang jarang pulang ke rumah"
Bidadari keempat "
"Suamiku sekarang lebih asyik main game, saya dicuekin melulu"
Bidadari kelima terdiam
Dia hanya senyum
Dia tidak dapat berkata apa-apa....
Sesampainya dirumah, dia disambut dan dipeluk oleh suaminya dan anak-anaknya
"Papa, apakah papa masih sayang sama saya? " tanya bidadari 5.
Arjuna 5 langsung memeluk erat sambil berbisik lembut nan mesra
"I love you more than I can whisper..."
Sang Istri lega mendengarnya
Namun dia tetap terusik dengan pertanyaan masa lalunya
"Papi, kalau papi benar mencintai saya, buktikan bagian apa yang membuat papi jatuh cinta sama saya? " kejar sang Istri.
Arjuna 5 menarik nafas panjang.
"Saya tidak tahu , sayang."
"Dan saya tidak mau mencari tahu apa sebenarnya yang menarik dari dirimu"
"Biarkan itu semua tetap menjadi rahasia tersembunyi bagi saya"
"Supaya ketika apa yang saya cintai itu berubah, maka aku pun tidak tahu bahwa itu memang sudah berubah, dengan demikian aku tetap bisa mencintai kamu apa adanya"
Sang istri serasa di sambar petir
Dia baru menyadari hal ini selama ini
Ketika dirinya tambah tua
Ketika dirinya semakin mengembang
Ketika dirinya tidak semenarik dikala mudanya
Dia mendapati suaminya tetap mencintai dirinya
Friday, January 2, 2009
hahaha
Obat aneh
Pasien : Dok, tolonglah sembuhkan penyakit saya. Saya sering berjalan di waktu tidur.
Dokter : Ini kotak yang bisa menyelesaikan persoalanmu. Setiap malam, ketika Anda sudah bersiap untuk tidur keluarkan isi kotak itu dan taburkan di lantai sekeliling tempat tidurmu.
Pasien : Kotak apa ini, Dok? apakah sejenis serbuk penenang?
Dokter : Bukan. Ini kotak paku payung.
----------------------------------------------------------
* Teh Dingin
Si Waen dan Wowu yang baru turun gunung, langsung keliling kota jakarta. setelah seharian keliling mereka kehausan, lalu menuju sebuah warung. Waen melihat daftar harga minuman:
-teh dingin = Rp.2000,-
-teh panas = Rp.1000,-
kemudian Si Waen memesan teh panas karena uangnya hanya Rp.1000,-. begitu pesanan teh panas datang, si Waen langsung meminumnya tanpa ditiup/didinginkan dulu, jelas aja dia kepanasan sambil memegangi tenggorokannya.
Si Wowu kaget melihat itu: "kenapa, langsung kamu minum teh yang masih panas itu?". si Waen menjawab: "Nih lihat!, kalo tehnya udah dingin, harganya Rp.2000,-, mana cukup uangku?".
----------------------------------------------------------
* Saya Jewer
Dalam suatu apel pagi, seorang komandan sedang mengetes anak buahnya dengan mengajukan pertanyaan-pertanyaan :
Komandan : "Apa yang kamu lakukan jika kamu berhadapan dengan musuh dalam jumlah yang sangat besar?!!"
Anak buah : "Langsung saya serang pak!!!!"
Komandan : "Salah! Kamu harus melaporkan pada pasukanmu supaya dapat menyerang bersama-sama. Lalu bagaimana jika kamu berhadapan dengan seekor babi hutan yang jinak?!"
Anak buah : "Saya melaporkan pada pasukan saya supaya dapat menyerang bersama-sama pak!"
Komandan : "Salah! Kamu harus men-jewer kupingnya supaya tidak nakal!, Lalu apa yang kamu lakukan jika berhadapan dengan saya?"
Anak buah : "Langsung saya jewer kupingnya pak, biar tidak nakal!!"
Komandan : ??
----------------------------------------------------------
* Di Atas Tanah Abang
Saat pertemuan Gubernur seluruh dunia di Danau Toba Medan beberapa waktu lalu, mereka melakukan rekreasi bersama keliling dunia dengan fasilitas pesawat dari Amerika. Kebetulan gubernur DKI Sutiyoso Bersama Arnold S (Gubernur California) dan Tuanku Tuk Abduk Rozak dari Malaysia dalam satu pesawat.
Seperti biasa, setiap Gubernur selalu ingin memamerkan apa yang menjadi kebanggaan negerinya lewat perjalanan angkasanya.
Tidak lama Arnold mengeluarkan tangannya dan sesaat kemudian dia berkata, "Wah kita sedang berada di atas New York!"
Sutiyoso kaget, "Lho kok bisa tau sih?"
"Itu.. patung Liberty kepegang!", jawab Arnold dengan bangganya.
Nggak mau kalah Tun Abdul Rozak, ikut menjulurkan tangannya keluar. "Tau nggak... kita sedang berada di atas kota Kuala Lumpur", katanya dengan sombongnya.
Sutiyoso, "Wah... kok bisa tau juga?. Itu, menara Petronas kepegang!", sahutnya.
Karena disombongin sama dua sahabatnya ini, giliran Sutiyoso yang menjulurkan tangannya keluar pesawat, "Wah... kita sedang berada di atas Tanah Abang!", teriak Sutiyoso.
"Lho kok bisa tau sih?" tanya Dua temannya heran kepada Sutiyoso, "Ini... jam tangan saya ilang...".
----------------------------------------------------------
* Tentara terhebat
Suatu kali, diadakan pertemuan tingkat tinggi yang dihadiri oleh tiga orang pemimpin wanita dari tiga negara yaitu dari Inggris yang diwakili oleh Margareth T., India diwakili oleh Indira Gandhi dan dari Philipina oleh Corry A.
Sebagai langkah awal diadakanlah upacara penghormatan diiringi dengan pemeriksaan barisan pasukan dari ketiga negara tersebut.
Sesampainya rombongan di depan pasukan Baret Hijau dari Inggris yang terkenal itu, dengan garang Margareth T. Menampar dan meninju pasukan yang ada didepannya yang tentu saja tanpa balasan. Terjadi dialog:
"Sakit nggak?"
"Nggak, Mam!!!"
"Kenapa?"
"Sebagai Prajurit sejati dari Britania Raya, kami terbiasa untuk menerima rasa sakit."
"Bagus."
Corry A. pun tidak mau kalah, dan begitu sampai di depan barisan pasukannya, diambilnya senapan dari komandan peleton, dan menghantamkan popor senapan tersebut ke muka prajuritnya. Terjadi lagi dialog:
"Sakit nggak?"
"Nggak Madam!!!" (Dengan muka bercucuran darah)
"Kenapa?"
"Sebagai tentara Philipina, kami harus mampu menahan rasa sakit dan kengerian untuk mempertahankan kedaulatan."
"Bagus" (dalam hati, sambil melirik Margareth, "hebatan prajurit gue kan")
Begitu pemeriksaan sampai di depan pasukan India, dengan cepat Indira G. menyambar bayonet yang ada di senapan prajurit yang ada didepannya dan dengan sekali sebat terpotonglah "anu-nya" prajurit tersebut, dan dengan lantang bertanya:
"Sakit nggak?"
"Nggak Madam...!!!"
"Kenapa!!!"
"Sebab itu kepunyaan orang dibelakang saya..."
----------------------------------------------------------
* BAKSO SEKRUP
Sabtu sore Si Lanang bersama pacarnya Si Wadon beli bakso di warung "bakso bunder" milik Bang Abang.
Lanang : Bang, bakso satu porsi berapa harganya?
Bang Abang : Murah kok! nak, hanya Rp 5000,-
Lanang : Kalo gitu, saya pesan dua Bang!
Sesaat kemudian bakso siap untuk disantap, Si Lanang dan pacarnya menyantap bakso itu. Tetapi ketika Si Lanang sedang enak-enaknya makan bakso, tiba-tiba ia mengigit sesuatu yang amat keras sehingga menimbulkan suara nyaring(klotakk..klotak..kretekk). Si Lanang menjadi malu, karena ia jadi pusat perhatian orang-orang disekitarnya.
Lanang : Apaan nih! (sambil mengeluarkan isi di mulutnya, Si Lanang menemukan sekrup/baut diantara daging baksonya). Gila bener ada sekrupnya..
Lalu Si Lanang mendatangi Bang Abang. Ia ingin complain/mengadu ataskejadian itu.
Lanang : Bang, Gimana ini!! kok di bakso ada sekrupnya!! (Lanang agak marah)
Bang Abang : Kamu ini Gimana tho! nak, wong bakso cuma Rp 5000,- kok! minta bonus Traktor, Ya..sekrupnya saja cukup.. tho...
----------------------------------------------------------
* Guru Lupa
seorang murid ingin bertanya tentang soal yang tidak ia ketahui
murid : pak saya mau bertanya sesuatu?
guru : ada apa? apa yang mau kamu tanya?
murid : bandung lautan api terjadinya kapan ?
si guru ternyata lupa. tapi kalau tidak dijawab ia bisa malu.
guru : memang kamu tidak tau?
murid : makanya saya tanya bapak!?!
guru : dengan lantang guru menjawab "rumah tetangga saya kebakaran saja saya lupa apalagi bandung yang jauh disana"
murid : "&*%#* "
----------------------------------------------------------
* Orang Bodoh Jadi Cerdas
Seorang bapak mengajak anaknya yang baru berusia tujuh tahun ke kamp perkemahan kaum nudis. Si anak terheran-heran melihat berbagai macam ukuran penis pria. Si bapak menjelaskan kepada anaknya, "Nak, besar kecilnya penis itu ditentukan oleh kecerdasan. Penis orang cerdas biasanya besar dan penis orang bodoh biasanya kecil."
Beberapa hari setelah itu, si anak lapor kepada bapaknya ketika ia baru pulang dari kerja, "Pak, tadi siang ibu bercanda dengan orang bodoh di dalam kamar. Tapi makin lama aku lihat orang itu semakin cerdas."
----------------------------------------------------------
* Sepatoe Boeaya
Seorang perempuan ingin memiliki sebuah sepatu dari kulit buaya. Diapun pergi ke toko sepatu dan kecewa karena mahalnya.
"Mahal amat sih," tanya si perempuan
"Kalau ingin murah ya menangkap buaya sendiri saja sana", ketus si pemilik toko.
Terinspirasi oleh perkataan si pemilik toko, perempuan tersebut pergi ke sungai besar di daerah situ sambil membawa senjata api. Beberapa saat kemudian si pemilik toko datang dan terkagum-kagum melihat tiga ekor buaya mati ditumpuk di pinggir sungai. Sementara itu si perempuan terlihat di tengah sungai sedang membidikkan senjatanya ke seekor buaya lainnya.
Suara tembakan terdengar, kemudian si perempuan menyeret buaya ke-empat ke pinggir sungai dan kemudian menyumpah , "Sialan..!! Yang ini juga nggak pakai sepatu..!."
----------------------------------------------------------
* Ganti Sel
Profesor : "Wah HP saya rusak muridku, kenapa tidak bisa dipake buat akses pake GPRS lagi? ada kerusakan dimananya ya?"
Murid : "itu sih saya tahu Prof, gampang! ganti aja SEL nya".
Profesor : "maksud kamu ganti SEL baterry nya atau SEL didalamnya?"
Murid : "bukan itu prof. ganti aja SEL..URUHNYA dengan HP baru..
hehehe..."
Profesor : ????!!!...
----------------------------------------------------------
* Salam Perkenalan
Seorang guru bermaksud melatih anak-anak didiknya di sekolah dasar untuk memupuk rasa percaya diri mereka. Guru tersebut meminta mereka untuk memperkenalkan diri sekaligus mengungkapkan cita-cita mereka.
Doddi berdiri dan berkata, "Nama saya Dodi. Kalau besar nanti saya ingin menjadi pilot, jadi saya bisa pergi ke Amerika, Eropa, Australia dan sebagainya",
"Bagus sekali Dodi. Terimakasih. Siapa lagi?", tanya Bu Guru.
Seorang anak perempuan yang duduk di tengah berdiri dan berkata, "Nama saya Shanti. Kalau besar nanti, Shanti ingin jadi ibu rumah tangga dan punya anak yang manis."
"Bagus. Jadi ibu rumah tangga merupakan cita-cita yang mulia. Siapa lagi?".
Si Zaenal berdiri dan berkata, "Saya Zaenal, nanti kalau sudah besar saya akan membantu Shanti mencapai cita-citanya.....".
----------------------------------------------------------
* Sedang sibuk
Suatu sore hari seorang manajer perusahaan menelepon pelanggannya. Tapi telepon itu ternyata dijawab oleh seorang anak kecil.
"Apakah ayahmu ada di rumah?"
"Ya, tetapi sekarang dia sedang sibuk." (anak itu menjawab dengan berbisik)
"Kalau ibumu?"
"Dia juga sedang sibuk." (dengan berbisik juga)
"Kalau begitu apakah ada orang lain di rumah?"
"Ada, kakakku perempuan, tapi dia juga sedang sibuk sekali sekarang." (masih sambil berbisik)
"Sebenarnya apa sih yang sedang mereka lakukan?"
"Oh, mereka sedang main petak umpet dengan saya dan mereka semua sedang mencari saya."
Pasien : Dok, tolonglah sembuhkan penyakit saya. Saya sering berjalan di waktu tidur.
Dokter : Ini kotak yang bisa menyelesaikan persoalanmu. Setiap malam, ketika Anda sudah bersiap untuk tidur keluarkan isi kotak itu dan taburkan di lantai sekeliling tempat tidurmu.
Pasien : Kotak apa ini, Dok? apakah sejenis serbuk penenang?
Dokter : Bukan. Ini kotak paku payung.
----------------------------------------------------------
* Teh Dingin
Si Waen dan Wowu yang baru turun gunung, langsung keliling kota jakarta. setelah seharian keliling mereka kehausan, lalu menuju sebuah warung. Waen melihat daftar harga minuman:
-teh dingin = Rp.2000,-
-teh panas = Rp.1000,-
kemudian Si Waen memesan teh panas karena uangnya hanya Rp.1000,-. begitu pesanan teh panas datang, si Waen langsung meminumnya tanpa ditiup/didinginkan dulu, jelas aja dia kepanasan sambil memegangi tenggorokannya.
Si Wowu kaget melihat itu: "kenapa, langsung kamu minum teh yang masih panas itu?". si Waen menjawab: "Nih lihat!, kalo tehnya udah dingin, harganya Rp.2000,-, mana cukup uangku?".
----------------------------------------------------------
* Saya Jewer
Dalam suatu apel pagi, seorang komandan sedang mengetes anak buahnya dengan mengajukan pertanyaan-pertanyaan :
Komandan : "Apa yang kamu lakukan jika kamu berhadapan dengan musuh dalam jumlah yang sangat besar?!!"
Anak buah : "Langsung saya serang pak!!!!"
Komandan : "Salah! Kamu harus melaporkan pada pasukanmu supaya dapat menyerang bersama-sama. Lalu bagaimana jika kamu berhadapan dengan seekor babi hutan yang jinak?!"
Anak buah : "Saya melaporkan pada pasukan saya supaya dapat menyerang bersama-sama pak!"
Komandan : "Salah! Kamu harus men-jewer kupingnya supaya tidak nakal!, Lalu apa yang kamu lakukan jika berhadapan dengan saya?"
Anak buah : "Langsung saya jewer kupingnya pak, biar tidak nakal!!"
Komandan : ??
----------------------------------------------------------
* Di Atas Tanah Abang
Saat pertemuan Gubernur seluruh dunia di Danau Toba Medan beberapa waktu lalu, mereka melakukan rekreasi bersama keliling dunia dengan fasilitas pesawat dari Amerika. Kebetulan gubernur DKI Sutiyoso Bersama Arnold S (Gubernur California) dan Tuanku Tuk Abduk Rozak dari Malaysia dalam satu pesawat.
Seperti biasa, setiap Gubernur selalu ingin memamerkan apa yang menjadi kebanggaan negerinya lewat perjalanan angkasanya.
Tidak lama Arnold mengeluarkan tangannya dan sesaat kemudian dia berkata, "Wah kita sedang berada di atas New York!"
Sutiyoso kaget, "Lho kok bisa tau sih?"
"Itu.. patung Liberty kepegang!", jawab Arnold dengan bangganya.
Nggak mau kalah Tun Abdul Rozak, ikut menjulurkan tangannya keluar. "Tau nggak... kita sedang berada di atas kota Kuala Lumpur", katanya dengan sombongnya.
Sutiyoso, "Wah... kok bisa tau juga?. Itu, menara Petronas kepegang!", sahutnya.
Karena disombongin sama dua sahabatnya ini, giliran Sutiyoso yang menjulurkan tangannya keluar pesawat, "Wah... kita sedang berada di atas Tanah Abang!", teriak Sutiyoso.
"Lho kok bisa tau sih?" tanya Dua temannya heran kepada Sutiyoso, "Ini... jam tangan saya ilang...".
----------------------------------------------------------
* Tentara terhebat
Suatu kali, diadakan pertemuan tingkat tinggi yang dihadiri oleh tiga orang pemimpin wanita dari tiga negara yaitu dari Inggris yang diwakili oleh Margareth T., India diwakili oleh Indira Gandhi dan dari Philipina oleh Corry A.
Sebagai langkah awal diadakanlah upacara penghormatan diiringi dengan pemeriksaan barisan pasukan dari ketiga negara tersebut.
Sesampainya rombongan di depan pasukan Baret Hijau dari Inggris yang terkenal itu, dengan garang Margareth T. Menampar dan meninju pasukan yang ada didepannya yang tentu saja tanpa balasan. Terjadi dialog:
"Sakit nggak?"
"Nggak, Mam!!!"
"Kenapa?"
"Sebagai Prajurit sejati dari Britania Raya, kami terbiasa untuk menerima rasa sakit."
"Bagus."
Corry A. pun tidak mau kalah, dan begitu sampai di depan barisan pasukannya, diambilnya senapan dari komandan peleton, dan menghantamkan popor senapan tersebut ke muka prajuritnya. Terjadi lagi dialog:
"Sakit nggak?"
"Nggak Madam!!!" (Dengan muka bercucuran darah)
"Kenapa?"
"Sebagai tentara Philipina, kami harus mampu menahan rasa sakit dan kengerian untuk mempertahankan kedaulatan."
"Bagus" (dalam hati, sambil melirik Margareth, "hebatan prajurit gue kan")
Begitu pemeriksaan sampai di depan pasukan India, dengan cepat Indira G. menyambar bayonet yang ada di senapan prajurit yang ada didepannya dan dengan sekali sebat terpotonglah "anu-nya" prajurit tersebut, dan dengan lantang bertanya:
"Sakit nggak?"
"Nggak Madam...!!!"
"Kenapa!!!"
"Sebab itu kepunyaan orang dibelakang saya..."
----------------------------------------------------------
* BAKSO SEKRUP
Sabtu sore Si Lanang bersama pacarnya Si Wadon beli bakso di warung "bakso bunder" milik Bang Abang.
Lanang : Bang, bakso satu porsi berapa harganya?
Bang Abang : Murah kok! nak, hanya Rp 5000,-
Lanang : Kalo gitu, saya pesan dua Bang!
Sesaat kemudian bakso siap untuk disantap, Si Lanang dan pacarnya menyantap bakso itu. Tetapi ketika Si Lanang sedang enak-enaknya makan bakso, tiba-tiba ia mengigit sesuatu yang amat keras sehingga menimbulkan suara nyaring(klotakk..klotak..kretekk). Si Lanang menjadi malu, karena ia jadi pusat perhatian orang-orang disekitarnya.
Lanang : Apaan nih! (sambil mengeluarkan isi di mulutnya, Si Lanang menemukan sekrup/baut diantara daging baksonya). Gila bener ada sekrupnya..
Lalu Si Lanang mendatangi Bang Abang. Ia ingin complain/mengadu ataskejadian itu.
Lanang : Bang, Gimana ini!! kok di bakso ada sekrupnya!! (Lanang agak marah)
Bang Abang : Kamu ini Gimana tho! nak, wong bakso cuma Rp 5000,- kok! minta bonus Traktor, Ya..sekrupnya saja cukup.. tho...
----------------------------------------------------------
* Guru Lupa
seorang murid ingin bertanya tentang soal yang tidak ia ketahui
murid : pak saya mau bertanya sesuatu?
guru : ada apa? apa yang mau kamu tanya?
murid : bandung lautan api terjadinya kapan ?
si guru ternyata lupa. tapi kalau tidak dijawab ia bisa malu.
guru : memang kamu tidak tau?
murid : makanya saya tanya bapak!?!
guru : dengan lantang guru menjawab "rumah tetangga saya kebakaran saja saya lupa apalagi bandung yang jauh disana"
murid : "&*%#* "
----------------------------------------------------------
* Orang Bodoh Jadi Cerdas
Seorang bapak mengajak anaknya yang baru berusia tujuh tahun ke kamp perkemahan kaum nudis. Si anak terheran-heran melihat berbagai macam ukuran penis pria. Si bapak menjelaskan kepada anaknya, "Nak, besar kecilnya penis itu ditentukan oleh kecerdasan. Penis orang cerdas biasanya besar dan penis orang bodoh biasanya kecil."
Beberapa hari setelah itu, si anak lapor kepada bapaknya ketika ia baru pulang dari kerja, "Pak, tadi siang ibu bercanda dengan orang bodoh di dalam kamar. Tapi makin lama aku lihat orang itu semakin cerdas."
----------------------------------------------------------
* Sepatoe Boeaya
Seorang perempuan ingin memiliki sebuah sepatu dari kulit buaya. Diapun pergi ke toko sepatu dan kecewa karena mahalnya.
"Mahal amat sih," tanya si perempuan
"Kalau ingin murah ya menangkap buaya sendiri saja sana", ketus si pemilik toko.
Terinspirasi oleh perkataan si pemilik toko, perempuan tersebut pergi ke sungai besar di daerah situ sambil membawa senjata api. Beberapa saat kemudian si pemilik toko datang dan terkagum-kagum melihat tiga ekor buaya mati ditumpuk di pinggir sungai. Sementara itu si perempuan terlihat di tengah sungai sedang membidikkan senjatanya ke seekor buaya lainnya.
Suara tembakan terdengar, kemudian si perempuan menyeret buaya ke-empat ke pinggir sungai dan kemudian menyumpah , "Sialan..!! Yang ini juga nggak pakai sepatu..!."
----------------------------------------------------------
* Ganti Sel
Profesor : "Wah HP saya rusak muridku, kenapa tidak bisa dipake buat akses pake GPRS lagi? ada kerusakan dimananya ya?"
Murid : "itu sih saya tahu Prof, gampang! ganti aja SEL nya".
Profesor : "maksud kamu ganti SEL baterry nya atau SEL didalamnya?"
Murid : "bukan itu prof. ganti aja SEL..URUHNYA dengan HP baru..
hehehe..."
Profesor : ????!!!...
----------------------------------------------------------
* Salam Perkenalan
Seorang guru bermaksud melatih anak-anak didiknya di sekolah dasar untuk memupuk rasa percaya diri mereka. Guru tersebut meminta mereka untuk memperkenalkan diri sekaligus mengungkapkan cita-cita mereka.
Doddi berdiri dan berkata, "Nama saya Dodi. Kalau besar nanti saya ingin menjadi pilot, jadi saya bisa pergi ke Amerika, Eropa, Australia dan sebagainya",
"Bagus sekali Dodi. Terimakasih. Siapa lagi?", tanya Bu Guru.
Seorang anak perempuan yang duduk di tengah berdiri dan berkata, "Nama saya Shanti. Kalau besar nanti, Shanti ingin jadi ibu rumah tangga dan punya anak yang manis."
"Bagus. Jadi ibu rumah tangga merupakan cita-cita yang mulia. Siapa lagi?".
Si Zaenal berdiri dan berkata, "Saya Zaenal, nanti kalau sudah besar saya akan membantu Shanti mencapai cita-citanya.....".
----------------------------------------------------------
* Sedang sibuk
Suatu sore hari seorang manajer perusahaan menelepon pelanggannya. Tapi telepon itu ternyata dijawab oleh seorang anak kecil.
"Apakah ayahmu ada di rumah?"
"Ya, tetapi sekarang dia sedang sibuk." (anak itu menjawab dengan berbisik)
"Kalau ibumu?"
"Dia juga sedang sibuk." (dengan berbisik juga)
"Kalau begitu apakah ada orang lain di rumah?"
"Ada, kakakku perempuan, tapi dia juga sedang sibuk sekali sekarang." (masih sambil berbisik)
"Sebenarnya apa sih yang sedang mereka lakukan?"
"Oh, mereka sedang main petak umpet dengan saya dan mereka semua sedang mencari saya."
Priya and Hitesh
Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage
life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new
life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The
more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the
first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back
after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it
was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be
made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
...... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial
things.They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the
most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical
nowadays, huh?
One day Priya talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't
imagine how
I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if
you
really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the
saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and
spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue
and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked,
and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and
happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She
left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend
the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new
deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I
notice
how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness
you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not
ask.I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru
all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way,
Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you
slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes."
Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage
life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new
life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The
more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the
first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back
after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it
was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be
made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
...... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial
things.They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the
most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical
nowadays, huh?
One day Priya talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't
imagine how
I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if
you
really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the
saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and
spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue
and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked,
and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and
happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She
left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend
the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new
deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I
notice
how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness
you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not
ask.I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru
all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way,
Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you
slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes."
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